I never professed to be a feminist of any fashion. Since I am such a docile person that I seek permission even from myself for being myself. I believe strongly on the traditional role of women in binding together the entire family for the common happiness and well-being. I sort to achieve that at much self-sacrifice but failed miserably. Within that space of the social image, the right woman was stifled and made to adhere to invisible rules. Aptly put by Maya Angelou are the quotes given below.
“We are only as blind as we want to be.”
– Maya Angelou
Binge Watching Dramas
The past week I have been binge-watching after posting my writing selfie challenge. Today, I sit down to really understand my takeaways from the play and the series that I had watched. Interestingly, the play was very powerful even though I watched just a few shots of the drama in the Rangmanch channel.
Sakharam Binder | A Play Not for This Weak Hearted
I am assuming the play was about physical abuse, the relationship between man and woman being distilled to just the physical with a very loose commitment rule. Interestingly, I found out that the title of the play was “Sakharam Binder” which was written by the Indian Dramatist Vijay Tendulkar. That reminded me of the other play by him that we had for our Indian English Literature paper. “Silence, the Court is in Session” by the same playwright.
I have always had a fascination with Marathi theater. I mean the extent to which they play around with dialogues and delivery of it, is simply divine. Sakharam B was hard to watch because it was driving me up the wall with angst. I don’t like to watch theater that goes against me and that makes watching it even more difficult for me. Sadly, I watched just a few scenes and gave up eventually. But I know someday when I brave up and see the play, I am sure my brain’s neural network would be humming.
Shakespearean Theatre and Green Room Love
I grew up in the Shakespearean theatre. By the Eleventh grade, I had finished all the plays by William Shakespeare. For me, the theatre is a way to enliven the being with multiple arguments while exploring new meaning. The stage was set with rom-com and frivolous lovers who expressed in prolific expression the love, the laughter, and the crimes of tragedy.
Watching ‘Out of Love’ | HotStar Series
This series evoked such deep-seated thoughts and as an intellectual space to think about what a woman could do in a failing relationship. She is educated and committed yet; she is cheated in a marital relationship. When the affair gets to the point of being discovered and to ultimate break up without any repercussion to any. I felt a sense of being cheated all over. But what can happen in the process of fringing choices such as forgiveness, forgetfulness, and revengefulness?
One cheating incident against one more by the other partner is not a solution. This was also another series that went against my thoughts. I was grappling with the series while feeling a sense of hopeful waste the entire years of the relationship since there was no real commitment to follow through with vows given on the day of the partnership.
“Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”
– Maya Angelou
Women and Their Identities
The fact that I can bravely write it off on MS Word such brave thoughts while in a face-off I just chicken out of the situation carrying my silence and shyness to express. I rarely speak when confronted and like my small dark corners brewing multiple responses. I am a docile feminist at heart, yet in person, I might never sound one.
That is when I grapple with thoughts that Maya Angelou enlists from every woman. She insists that we look beyond just the traditional format and explore those areas that lay untouched by the female power of expression.
Coming from the lower rungs of social life to the high social standings, I find women have given in to silence and bizarre commitments. Do we really have a voice? Do we even dare to voice the thought in the privacy of our mental space? Living in constant fear and cringing with physical discomforts are we truly the woman that we claim to be? Respect is not a charity handed out to people. Respect is earned and to earn it does the being compromise or be genuinely themselves? Do I need to “Unwoman myself” just to prove my equality?
Takeaways from All This
Both the play and the series made me so mad and unrestful within me that it took me a day or two to just settle down. I believe that one needs to explore those areas of thought processes also which makes us uncomfortable. In all this, I feel the quote below truly closes the identity crisis and the building of a woman’s self-identity is possible when we – the docile woman, learn to be peaceful and passionate.
“Seek patience and passion in equal amounts. Patience alone will not build the temple. Passion alone will destroy its walls.”
– Maya Angelou
My mind is still humming with all the complications that come from thinking about the identities and the self. When it settles down, I should have a better grasp of it. Until then, I relax into my unrest.