Tata Sky Javed Akhtar is a program channel in which the poet Javed Akhtar Sahib gives a performance for gathering invisible poetry lovers and it seems almost like a celebratory gathering. In this channel, you are given the first-row seat to the world of Urdu, Hindi poetry that touches the human perception in its own unique way. This channel is a world apart from those channels that I have familiarized myself with over the long period of watching shows.
The way it is structured it makes out to be a fascinating subject to explore. Javed Sahib picks some of the wonderful lists of poems to support his thesis on diverse and specific topics such as love, grief, life, relationship, et al. He keeps me glued to every word that he utters. I am engrossed in the exclusion of being lost in the world of words. Sometimes the words in Hindi or Urdu are unreplaceable in English. That is when my chosen language gives me a hindrance to progress.
This then forces me to use literal translation or even transliterate that single word which has no similar word in English. Like for instance, the word Gham cannot just be sorrow since sorrow is just a sparrow’s flutter and Grief is a bear of tolerance. I could not change the Gham to sorrow or to grief in a brief translation. So, I contemplated for a long time with the frustration of the translator’s nemesis pursuing relentlessly for that exacting word in the world of Language. I am lost and bereft with the word Gham.
Translation of any one language to another is such a hard task that sometimes I feel that you cannot really get the essence of it in exact replication. Today, I felt the first blip in my heart when the poetry kicked in and I wrote a few lines but then had to discard it as sheer wastage of energy. I have stopped writing poems these days. I am more over focused on writing CNF (Creative Non-Fiction). To write a poem is scary these days. To feel with such emotional intensity takes a lot out of me.
But to write a poem is like being set free into the sky. The tumult of the fall and the rise are such joyous experience by itself. The sensitive heart feels the jerk every time, whenever I wrote a poem. But of late almost since 2015, somehow, I feel that the poems will not be written anymore. That is a deep-seated sorrow for me. Because realms of CNF cannot become a couplet written with care. So, I found my pleasures in poetry by listening to it being read to me.
So Javed sahib’s channel for Sher Aur Shayari gives me that space to explore an understanding. Somehow, I feel I have a lover’s tiff with poetry and is unwilling to settle down in his arms for a round of couplets with a deep understanding of life and its philosophies. I have been estranged from the world of poetry and want to find my way back yet cannot seem to be able to. All it takes is to open an MSWord document and write that poem that wishes to be expressed, but then, I hold back. I do not understand this silence in me and unwillingness to express myself.
The prose is cut-throat for me and I do not feel the compassion that is easily seen in my poems. Somehow there is physical distancing in my prose works than in my poems. It is in a poem that my grief has been witness to a deep understanding of life. The long circuitous explanation is not required for a poem of four lines. A stanza captures the entire essence of my personality and leaves me shaken but strong. The woman is the woman of letters, in those few words captured in the form poem style while breaking those numerous rules of poetry.
Image Source: Javed Akhtar Sahib